dear billy boy:

we both know avoiding money doesn’t make it go away — -

and i can feel how much you love it and can focus on it with almost all of yourself — which i lack — -and im turning 40 in a few weeks and maybe fortune will say yes to me … us? this?

if your dream is to get richer, and i know how genius and correct my chromosomes turned out to be, then perhaps with your belief, and skin in the game (/ best friend birthday present ;) — we can challenge the universe to conspire for us to win the world series of poker gold bracelet and $10 million dollars.
$10,000 — → $10,000,000+… ?

https://www.wsop.com/pdfs/structuresheets/structure_5504_23257.pdf

you know i spent most my life actively working against leveraging the best of myself to claim a fair sticker price on the open market for what i am and can offer —

— and i can’t shake wanting to get into the gauntlet and puzzle away at a big dream of mine and dreaming amidst a world at siege has felt a bit … non-resonant ??

will you invest in me in exchange for a 50/50 split in whatever i win? will you back this horse in the race?

if you say yes then i get to create this whole public story that takes people flying and i get to attempt my mission of becoming a millionaire before 40.

i want to be rich and if i can spend 10 consecutive 12-hour days surrendering to the portals that open in the present moment, solving away at the puzzles that help me outlast thousands of other people — the impossible can happen.

risk is calculation and surrender to the free fall
& you can be the lever i pull just before an IPO on my soul.

i’ve done such good work with next to nothing — — now i wanna see what i can do with unlimited money and it feels universally judicious that it could be because of you.

we both know im a poor dumb queer boy from the white trash suburbs of flint michigan who never learned their place and — — —

i am
letting go
so we are relaxed.

slowly, slowly the veil lifts and the palms lose their sweat
& the puzzle continues on, off, pressure, diamond.